Day 30 (July 22): Big Water, Wisconsin Edition

Another postcard today.

Step 1: Feed kids silver dollar pancakes while they watch, first, their favorite fishing show (Chasing Monsters) and, second, the first half of Pocohontas.

Step 2: Drive to picturesque Bayfield "Gateway to the Apostle Islands" Wisconsin and eat lunch overlooking Lake Superior while waiting for...

Step 3: Take 3 hour cruise (covering about 60 miles) around the Apostles on the theme of "Lighthouses and Caves." Watch as kids nap in every possible position and/or make friends with strangers of all ages.

Step 4: Take kids to awesome lakeside playground and watch them immediately befriend other kids.

Step 5: Go to flamingo-themed restaurant and eat second fresh trout meal of the day.

Step 6: Drive home while making two stops. First, discover gravestone of great-grandparents. Second, go to A&W for dessert even though kids barely deserve it.

Step 7: Let kids prepare themselves for bed, once again in the tent village of the living room. Put down miscellaneous insurrections.

Step 8: Write daily blog post that imagines today was idyllic and involved no infuriating parenting moments. Leave out any mentions of yelling at kids. Don't bring up the precious sticker currently stuck on an out-of-reach rafter because the offending child was being obstinate.

Step 9: Collapse into bed. Hope the kids sleep 12 hours as they did last night.

Step 10: Remember that blog readers prefer cleverly-captioned pictures to wordy essays.